POEM : Back to My First Love❤️‍🔥

 Finding My Way Back to My First Love

When I think about our relationship, I feel gratitude,

Because it’s nothing like I’ve ever known or experienced,

When I think about our lives together, I picture our story being written,

I think about it as us being on a journey of exploration of each other,

Like two lovers, learning about each other and falling in love over and over,

I think about how far we’ve come, and I can only see your Grace that’s kept me,

I’ve lost my way many times, but never gave up, and because of that, I always found my way back to you. 

And That’s how I know our relationship is real and true,

Even in the moments where I got caught up and lost sight of you,

I had to reposition my heart posture so I could come back to you,

I realized I loved you, but I stopped being in love with you,

I found that out in the way that I responded to you,

Was I happy to do that which you’ve asked me to do,

Or was I only responding out of obligation to you?

And rather than this being an opportunity to be ashamed and runaway,

I decided not do that but instead chose an even better way,

Which would be to change my heart, so I could change my attitude, 

And in doing this, and being honest with you, I’d change my altitude,

Now there’s no more striving, there’s no more pretending, what’s left is real and true,

Because I refuse to do anything for you if my heart isn’t right toward you,

Because I know it’s better if I didn’t do it at all, 

If I treat you like a burden whenever you ask me or call,

If every time you asked me to do anything and I feel like ugghhh, I rather not,

I know I’ve lost sight of you and our relationship has started to deteriorate and rot,

I made a promise to God, that I will no longer do anything out of obligation,

But instead, I’ll be honest, and if I don’t want to, I won’t, but with an explanation,

Now Lord, you know my heart and know I only say all this with the best intentions,

Knowing that if I don’t do it with the right heart, it’s best if I don’t do it at all,

I want to be a fueled by my love for God because if I don’t our relationship will stall,

I want to do for the Lord everything, with all my heart and all my might,

Letting God know how I feel and actually treating Him like a delight,

Because even though I might not want to do the thing that he’s asking me to do,

If I’m fueled by love, that very thing will be easy to do,

Memories of being in love, I did with joy that which I didn’t want to, and of that I’m certain, 

Only because of what it represented, and what it meant to the other person,

And if God is more than mere man and truly my heart’s treasure,

I will treat Him like my King and always let Him know it’s always my pleasure.

Story behind this Poem:

Now, if you didn’t pick it up already from the poem itself, I’d like to share the story behind this poem. So on my journey and walk with the Lord, I’ve been through many seasons. I’ve been through my walk with the Lord as religion. As our relationship being transactional. As feeling that He is just the man in heaven, waving his finger at me. As a boss would treat his employee and not in a good way. All that just say, I’ve struggled a lot with striving and performance throughout life and even brought it into my relationship with the Lord. And because of that, even though I did fall in love with the Lord, along the way I lost sight of Him, and it became everything I did for Him. It no longer felt like a joy to do that which I was happy to do before. But it felt like a chore. And I didn’t want to do it anymore. So everything became a drag to do for Him but because I thought for the sake of obedience, I’ll do it, and I did. But when I really sat with that and had a realization of what was happening. I thought to myself it would’ve been better if I didn’t do it at all. Because who wants someone to do anything out of obligation to them, And not from their heart? Who wants to feel like you’re forcing them to love you, and you’re just doing what they say, because you’re afraid of them. No one wants that. Not even God. God wants your heart. And that’s why He wants us to do all that we do with joy unto the Lord. Joy doesn’t always mean it’s fun. Or you actually wanna do it. But the joy that I speak of comes from the love that you feel for the person that you’re doing it for. Because you respect that person. Because you love that person. Because you honor that person. And doing whatever it is that they are asking you to do, is worth doing if it makes them happy. So this poem, really speaks on, returning to your first love, not just to love Him, but a call to fall in love with Him, as many times as you need to. Over and over again. Thanks for listening.